29 May 2025 12 min read drop

The Dark Side of a Small Town: Salmon Arm’s Crime Crisis

RCMP Detachment in Salmon Arm, BC.

Most people would probably say they feel relatively safe living in the Shuswap, specifically in Salmon Arm. Those people don't know what's truly going on around these parts.

The Salmon Arm RCMP puts out what they call the "Crime Chronicles" every couple of weeks and it details recent incidents in which police were involved. I assume there is some sort of requirement to disclose this info to the public as an act of transparency, but let me tell you, what it really does is fill locals with fear. And rightfully so! Once you hear some of these reports, you'll want to call your mother and tell her you love her.

I've taken the liberty of combing through the last year of these "Crime Chronicles" and have selected the most heinous crimes I could find. Before we dive in, I need to warn those of you with heart problems, high blood pressure, and early onset hair loss to click away now. Your conditions may worsen.

*the crime reports below are word for word from the RCMP news release, they have not been edited by me (believe it or not)

June 27, 2024 - Trans Canada Hwy and 5th St SW: At 10pm a woman reported someone was using a chainsaw and appeared to be cutting a fence. Police attended and located a man known to them. The man claimed he was being chased by a group of people wearing masks, and that he cut a tree down to block them. Police located a fallen tree, partially laying on the Trans Canada Hwy. The man was arrested for mischief, and later released with a future court date. The chainsaw was seized, and police removed the fallen tree from the highway.

[This would have been interesting to witness. A guy running for his life and then stopping on the highway for a couple minutes to cut down a tree. Typical Shuswap redneck fun.]

July 10, 2024 - 3rd St SW: At 11pm a man reported a male in a silver SUV, passed out at the wheel with the door open in a parking lot. Police attended with minimal time delay, and located the man conscious, staring down at his cell phone. The vehicle was off, and parked legally. The man had his door open because it was 30 degrees outside. The man was found to have a valid driver’s licence, and valid insurance on the vehicle. The man was showing no signs of impairment. Police departed, and before the officer could call the complainant back, received a 911 call from the same complainant asking why police did not check the man’s licence and insurance. Police explained to the caller that the man was parked legally, there were no signs of impairment, and he had a valid driver’s licence and insurance.

[Was the person who called it in hiding in the bushes watching this happen? It says he called back right as police left. That's the real crime - stalking.]

July 22, 2024 - 46th St NE: At 1pm a woman reported a mother bear with two cubs tearing apart her backyard, and trying to get at her chickens. Conservation officers were advised. Police attended but the bears had departed, and escaped a possible arrest for mischief.

[Serious question. Why don't conservation officers capture bears and put them in a zoo rather than releasing them to the wild? A zoo is literally the animal equivalent of jail. Get those bears behind bars.]

Sept 19, 2024 - Salmon Arm RCMP detachment: At 5pm Salmon Arm RCMP had a woman in-custody in cells for being intoxicated in public. Despite there being a functioning toilet in the woman’s cell, the woman elected to defecate on the floor. The woman then picked up her feces, placed it in a sock, and wrote on the wall of the cell with her feces inside the sock. The woman was re-arrested for mischief. The woman was released from cells later that night with her future court date, once sober enough to care for herself. The cell was professionally cleaned and disinfected the following day. Recommended charge of one count of mischief has been forwarded to BC Prosecution for charge assessment.

[Are we sure this one was in Salmon Arm? It's got Vernon written all over it.]

Oct 4, 2024 - Salmon Arm: A woman reported her jewelry had been stolen from her residence on a remote acreage sometime over the past month. The woman reported she leaves the house several times a day, but has an adult son that also lived at the residence and was often home while she was out. A detailed list of jewelry items stolen was provided to police, estimated in excess of $15,000. The woman was unable to provide police with any more evidence to further the investigation. Nine days later, the woman reported to police she had found all of her jewelry packed away in a to-go bag she had forgotten she had packed earlier in the summer.

[So she spent nine days blaming her son for this? That must have been a pleasant and peaceful environment. At least now he can steal it for real and then tell her she's just misplaced it again.]

Oct 5, 2024 - Salmon Arm: A woman reported to police she was receiving multiple phone calls from the same phone number and an unknown male would scream profanities at her each time she answered. Salmon Arm RCMP were able to trace the phone number back to a man in Logan Lake, who stated he had a peace bond with an individual and believed that person was calling him from the phone number he was calling to yell at. Police advised the man that the number he was calling was registered to someone in Salmon Arm, was not who he believed it was, and to stop calling that number. The woman advised the phone calls stopped, but that she had also blocked the phone number.

[I didn't know we could call the police on Telus Support.]

Oct 11, 2024 - Lakeshore Dr NE: At 8am a woman reported her vehicle was stolen after parking on Lakeshore Dr. Police asked the woman if it was possible she parked it in a different location, but the woman was adamant she had parked it at that specific location. Police made patrols in the area and located the woman’s vehicle one block south on Hudson Ave NE. There was no evidence the vehicle was stolen, or damaged. The woman was slightly embarrassed, but happy to have her car back.

[10 bucks says this is the woman who also misplaced her jewelry.]

Oct 29, 2024 - 11th Ave NE: At 1am a man reported that a woman had attempted to stab him in the neck with scissors. Police attended and found the woman noticeably intoxicated and slurring her words. The man stated he went over to the woman’s residence to ask her to turn some music down, when the woman invited him in for a beer and began dancing seductively. The man was not seduced, and the woman became upset. The woman grabbed a pair of scissors, straddled the man, and attempted to strike him in the neck with the scissors. The man was able to push the woman off and called police. The woman was arrested and lodged in cells overnight due to her level of intoxication. The woman was later released with a future court date, and charges forwarded to BC Prosecution for assessment.

[The real reason women live longer than men is because they dance around stabbing men with scissors.]

Oct 30, 2024 - 30th St SE: a complainant reported a Volvo was shooting fireworks out of the window while it drove down the street. The complainant was able to provide a licence plate and police were able to track down the driver. The young man admitted to committing the stunt after being peer pressured by his friends. While very apologetic and regretful, the young man was later brought into the Salmon Arm police detachment by his father. Salmon Arm RCMP sat down with the young man to further discuss possible consequences of firing fireworks out of a vehicle, and how he can make better life decisions.

[This was only reported because he was driving a Volvo. If he was driving an old Civic or a lifted Ford with a busted window, he would have been left alone. Optics are everything.]

Nov 2, 2024 - Blind Bay: At 8:30pm a complainant reported that an unknown person driving possibly a pickup shot mud on their parked vehicle. There was no damage, and no further information about the suspect vehicle. Police advised they would not be attending.

[This person was definitely weighing their options between calling 911 or posting on Facebook. I think they made the right call.]

Nov 13, 2024 - 5th Ave SW: At 6am a woman reported there was a man banging on her window and asking to use a phone. While police were on the way, the woman updated police that the man was hiding and then returned to bang on her window more. Police arrived and located the man running away from the area, who was then in a full panic and reported that he had just witnessed another man get murdered at a business down the road. Police then attended the business and located the murdered man sleeping in a tent on the property, but was otherwise alive and well. The murdered man advised police that he heard the other man running around screaming. Police returned to the first man, who reported he had seen multiple people get murdered over the past three days. It was clear to police the man was experiencing a mental health crisis, he was apprehended and transported to a local hospital.

[The fact that this official police report says "the murdered man was sleeping" and "the murdered man advised police" is such a burn on the first guy. Imagine believing someone was murdered and police giving you sass in the report. "Yeah, ok guy, he was 'murdered'.]

Nov 16, 2024 - 20th Ave NE: At 10:30pm a woman reported her horse had been spooked and ran away. Salmon Arm RCMP received multiple updates from callers reporting seeing a horse in the neigh-bourhood around 20th Ave NE. Police located the horse and were able to hold onto it for a short while, until it decided to run away again. Police followed the horse as it trotted down 30th St NE where it was eventually corralled into a parking lot. Attending members were able to rein in the situation, and assisted the owner by distracting the horse with some food while it was haltered. The thankful owner then walked the horse to a nearby friends residence to wait for their horse trailer.

[Honestly, I just want to know what spooked the horse in the first place. Maybe it was afraid of the chemtrails like everyone else around here.]

Nov 23, 2024 - Lakeshore Dr SW: At 1:45am a complainant reported a fight outside a local pub. Police attended and could hear yelling around the building, then observed a 33-year-old man on top of a 36-year-old man, with the man on the bottom screaming as if he’d been injured. The 33-year-old attempted his best Olympic sprinter impression and ran away as soon as he saw police. The officer pursued on foot, advising the man he was under arrest for assault. The man’s sprint turned into a stumble, he tripped and fell, allowing the officer to speak with him and attempt to de-escalate the man. Instead the 33-year-old stood up, faced the officer with clenched fists, stated **** you, and appeared to be preparing to fight the officer. The officer presented his taser, but the man continued to disobey police commands. The man was tasered and formally arrested. Turns out the only medal he won was a pair of shiny handcuffs. Police returned to the 36-year-old who was yelling and screaming and subsequently arrested for causing a disturbance. Both men were lodged in cells over night. There were no injuries, and the fight was eventually deemed consensual after speaking with both men.

[I'm pretty sure the "**** you" shouted at the officer was "love you." No crime there!]

Jan 1, 2025 - Auto Rd: At 12:30am police received a complaint about a grey Dodge Ram 1500 stunting, doing donuts, and leaving at a high rate of speed. Police had received several similar previous reports in the area, similar in nature over the previous two months. The complainant was able to provide a licence plate, and also surveillance footage, and wished to pursue charges if the truck was located. Police located the truck with matching plate on 30th St SE about 30 minutes later. The lone occupant and registered owner, a class 7 male driver claimed he had lent his truck out to a friend in the preceding 30 minutes. Unfortunately for him, his truck started new years day with a fresh start in the impound lot, for 7 days, for stunting. He was also served a $197 violation ticket for driving without consideration.

[The Mayor has since got his truck back, but is fighting the ticket.]

Jan 2, 2025 - 100 block Trans Canada Hwy: At 4:30am a woman reported her “friend’s” vehicle was stolen from the 100 block of Trans Canada Hwy 1. Police attended and met with 37-year-old “Phoebe” who explained she had permission to drive her friend “Rachel’s” Audi Q5 from Mission up to Salmon Arm, with their friend “Monica” to visit “Ross” and see how they were doin’ in Salmon Arm. Police learned that “Rachel” had chosen not to come on the trip. “Phoebe” claimed that “Ross” had kicked her out that night but wouldn’t elaborate. Police spoke with “Ross” who reported that he didn’t know “Phoebe” that well, and she was stealing stuff from his apartment so he told her to leave because they were on a break. Police spoke further with “Phoebe” who then claimed that “Monica” had stolen the Audi Q5, and did not have permission to drive it. Police called the owner of the Audi, “Rachel” who was in Mission, and sounded intoxicated over the phone. “Rachel” claimed that the vehicle was actually registered to “Gunther,” who had lent the vehicle to “Chandler,” who had lent the vehicle to “Monica.” Further police queries showed the vehicle was actually registered to “Rachel,” who wasn’t much help to police. The whole episode appeared to be a comedy of errors. Police determined that “Monica” had permission to drive the vehicle, though “Phoebe” was doing it wrong, so she left in the Audi Q5 without “Phoebe” who was suspected of stealing from “Ross.” “Phoebe” was left at a central coffee shop to find her own way back to Mission, or maybe do some couch surfing. This was an actual event, only the names have been changed.

[I read this 4 times and still don't know what happened. How is this a real police report? The officers must have been watching Friends reruns while writing this one.]

Jan 11, 2025 - Salmon Arm: At 4pm a 59-year-old woman called Salmon Arm RCMP and reported that her 64-year-old brother was threatening to throw her in the nuthouse if she didn’t start contributing to the household and paying her share of the bills. The woman explained that she and her brother both own the property they live at, but the brother was convinced the sister wasn’t paying any of the bills. The woman reported she was paying her portion. There was no criminal offence, but police spoke with the brother to ensure the two could try to sort their issues out civilly before anyone tried to send the other to the nuthouse.

[I kinda wish they let him follow through on this threat. Like, what we he actually have done? Where exactly is this 'nuthouse' he is referring to?]

Feb 5, 2025 - Canoe: At 4:30pm a man called police to report that his neighbour intentionally plowed all the snow from his driveway, onto the complainant driveway, and called him names. There appeared to be history between the two un-neighbourly neighbours. Police attended and spoke with the alleged snow plower, who denied shovelling snow onto the complainant’s driveway, but confirmed all the unfriendly names he called him. The pair were both advised to avoid each other as best they could.

[This is just kinda fun. They should film their snowplow wars and put it on YouTube.]

Apr 5, 2025 - 30th St NE: At 10:30am a complainant reported teens having a car wash fundraiser at a local church, and was concerned about the safety of the teens standing with signs near the roadway. Two uniformed police officers were already at the car wash, in line to have their police cars washed and donate to the cause. There were no safety concerns, and the youth sign holders were observed doing so safely off the road.