21 Aug 2025 11 min read facebook files

Shuswap Facebook Files Vol. 2

Welcome to the Shuswap Facebook Files, where we highlight some of the more colourful discussions in the Metaverse from around the valley. The people that make these posts are not doctors or scientists, but they play them on Facebook.

We'll look at summaries of 5 posts that were posted on one of the various Facebook groups for Shuswap locals. And don't worry, I omit people's names (unfortunately).

The selected posts are not from any particular time period, some might be from last week, others could be from last year. As long as they get people fired up, they're eligible to shared here.

Let's dive in.

#1 - Tim Horton's Prefers Americans

Tim Hortons is back in the spotlight, but not for their donuts. Locals are fired up over the company’s shiny new ATMs, which apparently charge Canadians a fee to withdraw their own money while letting Americans do it for free. “What the actual service is this supposed to be?” the original post fumed.

The comment section got to work:

The Math Crowd: One pointed out that “free” American withdrawals aren’t really free, the company still makes bank on the exchange rate. Another explained that loading money onto cards basically turns these coffee chains into banks anyway.
The Boycotters: “Don’t use them.” “Trash company, stop supporting.” “Canadian money should be no fees.” Pretty clear where that side stood.
The Shruggers: A few said it’s not a big deal. “If you use an ATM that’s not your bank’s, you already pay $1.50–$4.50.” In other words: welcome to reality.
The Hipsters: One commenter cut through the debate entirely with, “Does it really matter? We’ve got four great local coffee shops. Haven’t been to Tim’s or Starbees in years.” Translation: support local, skip the lineups, and leave Timmies to the tourists.

By the end, the arguments boiled down to loyalty versus logic. Either Tim Hortons is gouging Canadians while pandering to Americans, or it’s just another ATM fee in a long line of ATM fees we’ve all come to expect.

#2 - Talk To The Hand... With Your Mask On

Early in the pandemic, one local decided to fight back against rule-breakers in a way that would make crossing guards proud: the hand signal. Whenever someone got too close, up went the palm, stop sign style, a silent message for the “entitled, the sociopathic, and the cave dwellers” who just couldn’t grasp six feet of space.

The story began with two women in line who apparently found it impossible to stay on the giant red dots on the floor. The poster didn’t yell, but she did “call them on it,” warning everyone that bad habits now would spell disaster come fall. She compared distancing to not spitting on sidewalks, not drunk driving, and not smoking indoors... essentially, COVID etiquette as the new Ten Commandments.

And that’s when the comments turned into a full-blown pandemic philosophy seminar.

The Supporters

Some clapped and cheered: “Be assertive, not aggressive,” “People should know better,” and “It’s common sense.” Others shared coping hacks, like grocery shopping at 7 a.m. with the considerate crowd, or strapping a six-foot pool noodle to your head. A few even suggested full-on hazmat suits or hockey sticks as personal space enforcers. I'm sure these were all serious suggestions.

The Mockers

But the opposition was equally loud. One crowd called it “controlling and rude,” another told her to just do click-and-collect, and plenty mocked the raised palm as over-the-top. Suggestions included: fart loops on your phone, inner tubes around your waist, or just carrying a cattle prod. Someone even dropped the K-word (“Karen?”) only to get lectured that the insult was “no longer acceptable.”

The Conspiracists

Inevitably, the thread got hijacked by the anti-mask, anti-distancing brigade. They ranted about “agenda 21,” called COVID a “plandemic,” and mocked anyone “living in fear.” One claimed masks were useless, another bragged about not being afraid, and a third said the rules were “Gestapo” tactics. In between, there were arguments about Thailand, Andrew Cuomo, and whether men still spit too much.

The Punchline

By the end, the sides were clear:

Team Palm: assertive defenders of space, treating the red dots like sacred ground.
Team Relax: mocking, fart-joking free spirits who think the whole thing’s overblown.
Team Conspiracy: convinced the hand signal is just step one of the New World Order.

What started as “talk to the hand” ended as 200+ comments of spit, pool noodles, and tinfoil hat jokes. The virus may or may not have been airborne, but the Facebook drama definitely was.

#3 - A Giant Game Of Bumper Cars

One frustrated driver took to Facebook after their car was hit three times in just two months, all while parked. Not on the highway, not weaving through town, but sitting still like a polite citizen. “Do people here park using The Force?” they asked. “Is there lead in the water? Salmon blood? Gasoline?” By the end of the rant, they said it might actually be safer to park in the forest.

Turns out, they’re not alone. The comment section quickly filled with stories of parking lot carnage:

The Usual Suspects: Walmart and No Frills lots were repeatedly named as ground zero for dents, dings, and hit-and-runs. “It’s brutal out there,” one veteran said, adding their truck had been hit in every possible place while never once being in an actual accident.
The Victims: People described door dings, rebar damage, and even an Infiniti driver backing into an elderly woman with a shopping cart before driving off. One poor soul had their freshly repainted side panel immediately re-scratched.
The Cynics: “They’re all 102,” one commenter joked about local drivers. Another said don’t bother parking in the empty corner of the lot, “you’ll come out ten minutes later surrounded.”

The thread also devolved into the usual blame game:

It’s the tourists! Half of Alberta rolls into town every summer.
No, it’s the locals! Same chaos year-round, maybe worse in winter.
No, it’s the old folks! Coffin-dodgers who park by feel, bumpers first.

Solutions ranged from dashcams to drive a crappy car and "stop caring.” Others swore by parking far away at 7 am or ordering groceries online to avoid the chaos entirely. Meanwhile, the original poster kept wondering how so many people fail to understand reverse.

The final word? Whether you’re parked at Walmart, downtown, or halfway to Canoe, Salmon Arm’s unofficial town sport is still bumper cars. More info on parking here.

#4 - Allegedly Clean and Polite Woman Gets Ignored 🚨🚨🚨

One local went on a tear after being ignored in multiple Salmon Arm businesses over the last month. They insisted they were polite, clean, had money in hand, and even smiled at staff, only to watch others get priority service. As a business owner themselves, they couldn’t believe how badly local shops were “driving away sales,” especially given that, as they reminded everyone, women make most household spending decisions. Translation: ignoring them wasn’t just rude, it was bad economics.

The Quick Fixers

Some offered cheeky advice. “Pick something up and walk toward the exit,” one joked, suggesting a little shoplifting cosplay might get attention. Others said squeaky wheels get the grease, or just ask for help directly instead of waiting to be noticed.

The Walk-Out Crew

Plenty admitted they simply leave when customer service tanks. “Their loss, not mine,” one shrugged. Others warned employers would be shocked if they knew how many sales were lost because staff couldn’t be bothered. “I don’t waste my hard-earned money at places that don’t appreciate the sale,” summed it up neatly.

The Cynics

Then came the bigger-picture gripes:

Small town, big ego: Locals argued that unlike cities, Salmon Arm stores don’t face real competition, so staff don’t bother with service.
Middle-aged invisibility: A few women declared themselves ghosts-in-training. “This is when we start practicing for our future as poltergeists,” joked one.
Cursed town theory: Others blamed Salmon Arm itself, calling it unfriendly, elitist, or “full of flakes.” One person even admitted they’re leaving town entirely, convinced it’s hopeless.

The Defenders

Not everyone piled on. Some said they’ve had mostly good experiences, better than at the coast. Others insisted the community is full of blessings like markets, lakes, free concerts, and suggested being assertive but kind, instead of walking out. One optimist even floated the idea of starting a women’s group so “people can know your name.”

The Verdict?

Depending on which commenter you believe, Salmon Arm is either:

A cursed wasteland of bad attitudes and lazy staff.
A lovely town where maybe you just need to speak up more.
Or simply a place where you are automatically invisible if you're a middle-aged woman.

Either way, the original poster made one thing clear: they refuse to fade quietly into customer service oblivion. “I AM a beautiful fire,” they declared. “I will not fade away without an explosion.”

(Editor's note: That is maybe the cringiest thing anyone has ever said. If you came into my store and said “I AM a beautiful fire,” I would ban you for life and spray you with a fire extinguisher.)

#5 - Kick Them While They're Down

If you thought Salmon Arm’s biggest drama was semis blowing red lights, buckle up. A barn fire on Mobley Rd lit more than just rafters, it torched Facebook into a 200+ comment battlefield of sympathy, skepticism, and squatter accusations.

It started with a heartfelt post from a single mom describing how a July 31 blaze reduced the barn beside her cabin to ashes. She said the building stored everything: tools for her future woodworking business, sentimental keepsakes, her wardrobe, her daughter’s toys, even furniture that didn’t fit in their tiny cabin. She asked the community for help via GoFundMe, explaining that her dream of launching a business in September had literally gone up in smoke.

Sympathy Meets Suspicion

At first glance, it was a classic Shuswap tragedy: hardworking mom, bad luck, small-town rallying. But within minutes, the torches came out. Critics accused her of being a “career meth head,” a “squatter,” and a scammer exploiting GoFundMe. One commenter even copy-pasted warnings from other groups telling people not to donate. Others mocked her for lacking insurance, with one person bluntly suggesting: “Get two jobs.”

The accused mom fought back hard, insisting she’d turned her life around, wasn’t a drug user, and was only seeking help for her daughter’s sake. She pointed out she takes care of the elderly landlord’s property by mowing, shovelling, and cleaning his house, and has lived there for over two years with bills in her name. Still, the rumour mill churned.

Neighbours, “Owners,” and a Tangle of Stories

One major twist: who actually owned the barn? A man named Mark popped up claiming it was his family’s building. Supporters of the mom shot back that Mark was just the elderly owner’s son, had no authority, and was stirring the pot for attention. Screenshots flew, with people posting his status updates about “our barn” catching fire. The result? A Facebook trial by screenshot, with each side calling the other liars.

Other locals chimed in:

Some confirmed she was a tenant in the cabin and had belongings in the barn.
Others claimed she was squatting, freeloading, and had no right to be there.
A neighbour swore they saw evidence of a “drug lab.”
Supporters said the fire chief already confirmed it was accidental due to faulty tool batteries charging, not criminal.

Somewhere between these threads, a whole side drama about stolen credit cards, thrift store thefts, and who mows whose lawn broke out. You know, the typical evolution of a Facebook comment thread.

The Emotional Brawl

The comment section spiraled. People mocked her grammar. She shot back that she’s educated. She accused critics of bullying, calling them “hyenas” and “savage animals.” Others told her karma was just catching up. A few tried reasoning: “Make a list of what you lost, and people might donate tools instead of cash.” Eventually, she did. Drills, saws, welders, sanders, epoxy, wood slabs, even a Cricut machine. By then, though, much of the crowd had already made up its mind.

The tone swung wildly: some neighbours quietly dropped off clothes and a mini fridge, while others gleefully reported her GoFundMe as fraud.

The Follow-Up Post: Damage Control

As rumours raged, another resident tried to cool things down with a follow-up post:

Yes, there was a fire.
Yes, the cause was electrical, not criminal.
Yes, the firefighters saved the cabin and contained the blaze.
No, the single mom never claimed to own the barn.

But instead of calming the waters, the second post just reignited the squatter debate. Critics doubled down, insisting the family had “no business being there.” Supporters clapped back that squatters don’t redo plumbing, fix up cabins, or shovel the landlord’s steps. The word “squatter” was used so often it lost all meaning.

By this point, even the firefighting heroes got dragged in, with one commenter angrily citing lithium battery fire safety stats and another neighbour claiming it was secretly a tanning bed blaze. The accused mom insisted the tanning bed was unplugged, and it was tool batteries near spray cans that caused the explosion. A guy living on the property confirmed her story, but skeptics kept screaming “drug lab!” anyway.

The Takeaway

What began as a barn fire became a full-scale morality play about poverty, addiction, and whether GoFundMe is community support or community scam central.

To her supporters: she’s a single mom who lost her business tools in a tragic accident and is unfairly being crucified for her past.
To her detractors: she’s a repeat offender using tragedy to beg for cash while squatting on someone else’s property.
To the rest of us watching: it’s proof that nothing burns hotter than a Shuswap Facebook thread, and a reminder that if you want to be insulted and torn to shreds, join these Facebook groups and ask for help.

That's Enough Internet For Today

If you want to join some of these dreadful Facebook groups and see these posts happen in real time, links are below, but I don't recommend joining, just come here for the highlights instead.

Salmon Arm Rant and Rave and Random Discussion

Sicamous Rant & Rave

Shuswap Everything Friendly Goes

Shuswap Road Report

sicamous rant, rave and randomness anything goes

The Real Salmon Arm Rant And Rave

Salmon Arm/Armstrong/Enderby/Falkland/Blind Bay Community info

Shuswap/The World no rules Rant n Rave n get er dun!!

Around The Lake ( White Lake BC )

Shuswap Local Businesses

Salmon Arm Everything Goes

Salmon Arm Shuswap Rant and Rave