Sicamous: The Houseboat Capital of Canada Needs a Rebrand

Sicamous: The Houseboat Capital of Canada. It’s a weird title, but I guess in this area you cling to whatever claims you can make. Take the wharf in Salmon Arm, for example. It’s got the braggy title of the “longest curved inland wharf in North America.” Or out towards Deep Creek you’ve got the “World's Largest Non-Motorized Lawnmower”. How thrilling. We’re really selling this as a must-visit destination.

I think it’s time we brainstorm some new titles for Sicamous. Here are a few options for consideration.

Sicamous: Boats Boats Boats

We're starting out easy here. This one stays close to the Houseboat theme but is just a bit more fun. If the goal of these tag lines is to increase tourism and interest in the area, then this will work wonders. If I was on a road trip and saw a sign like that for any town within a 3 hour radius, I’d make a detour without thinking twice. Not much more to say on this one, it's really just low hanging fruit.

Sicamous: The Only Town in BC That Actually Wants Alberta Tourists

Ok, it’s a bit wordy, I’ll admit. But it’s certainly not inaccurate. Sicamous is in this unique place of being a natural rest stop when coming into this province from the east, having a major attraction that Alberta has never seen (a body of water), but also where it could never sustain itself with its own residents. Sicamous needs the oil money from our neighbours in order to continue to exist. People all over BC love to complain about Albertan tourists in the summer (and they should), but in Sicamous, you need those walking ATMs. Let’s emphasize that clearly in the marketing efforts.

Sicamous: Come For The Ice Cream, Stay For The… Never Mind

Dutchmen Dairy is a staple in Sicamous, and really, on the whole Trans Canada Highway even. Best ice cream around, and it’s not close. I guarantee you, at least 40% of people who have heard of Sicamous at all only know it as ‘that place with the ice cream and the cows.’ It’s worth stopping for, and that’s what people do. They stop for ice cream, and then they go. They go away. They leave with ice cream and nothing else. They don’t know that there is anything else to see in Sicamous (argument to be made that there isn’t), they just want a cone of cookies and cream and to get back on the road. Might as well lean into this and just update the town’s signage to point people to what they’re looking for.

Sicamous: A Surprising Amount of Murders

A bit dark maybe, but just being real here. The stabbings and shootings in this town are at a concerning level given the population. Now I’m definitely not trying to increase those numbers with this new town slogan, but I see this as an opportunity to turn lemons into lemonade. What can people not get enough of these days? True Crime Podcasts. Start branding this area with a mysterious description about murder, and the couch detectives will flock here looking for their next viral story. Maybe they will find an angle to exploit for views, maybe they won’t. But what they will do is spend their Spotify royalties on restaurants, hotels, coffee shops, boat charters, bike rentals, and of course the ice cream.

Sicamous: We Don't Support Local

Everyone says that local businesses are important and necessary. People claim that they want to support small businesses over big corporations, and the residents of Sicamous are no different. Where they are different, however, is in putting that into practice. The issue is that living in a tiny town for your whole life can make you sheltered, and sheltered people are usually cheap, and they definitely don’t understand basic economics. They can have the best intentions in the world, but they do nothing helpful with them. They act like they want to support the little guy but also don't want to spend literally a nickel more than absolutely necessary. Sure, you can save a couple bucks at the big chain, if that’s what is most important to you — but don’t claim you want local businesses then. This is another reason that Sicamous needs the Albertan invasion, by the way. If you won’t pay a dollar to a local business owner, maybe the tourists will.

Sicamous: Unabridged

This one won't make sense forever, so this would be one of those temporary rebrand situations while you work on something more official. The thought with this one is that yes, there is a bridge between Sicamous and Salmon Arm, but also there kind of isn't. At least lately. If you don't know about this while on your road trip, you'll come upon construction signs telling you to take the detour through Mara and Grindrod, and you'll be forced to take an annoying drive through maybe one of the most beautiful stretches of highway in the area. The Bruhn Bridge is supposedly on a schedule where it's closed for periods of time and then open for periods of time, but anyone who lives there knows that this schedule has been more of a suggestion than a reliable planning aid. Let's save everyone some trouble and just put right on the Sicamous sign that the bridge is a no-go, at least until it is (in like, 3 or 4 years).

Sicamous: Network Error

Internet connectivity in Sicamous has always been a pain point. The local providers are spotty on a good day, leaving you to decide if you're okay supporting Elon Musk or not. Starlink seems to be your only option if staying connected is vitally important to you while hiding away in your home on any day with clouds. If you don't believe me, just go to the Sicamous Rant & Rave Facebook group and search for "internet" and read the dozens of comment wars on the subject. Better to keep yourself out of it all and just plan to be offline while in Sicamous. Put your phone away, go for a walk, and support a local business... assuming they have a working internet connection and their systems aren't down.

Those are just off the top of my head but there are undoubtedly many other great options for replacing "The Houseboat Capital of Canada" with a better slogan. I sincerely hope if you have a suggestion that you'll leave it in a comment below.

If we get something really good maybe we can start one of those Change.org petitions or something. Sicamous could use a good shake up and a silly news story to put them on the map for more than their Houseboats and Ice Cream and Murders.

New drop every other Thursday.

Have an idea for the next Drop?
Submit a topic here →